
It’s been a bit. Things are crazy here. It’s been summer until Monday and then we had rain and cold and now it’s settled on an even temperature with sunshine.
Oklahoma is no where near following CDC guidelines. Our governor called for a day of prayer and fasting in groups in churches instead of a mask mandate so now our numbers are through the roof.
My mother is in hospital in North Dakota and I am strongly questioning their abilities. Pretty much anyone can come in and they didn’t even test her for Covid. Now she weighs 60 pounds, has multiple blood clots in her legs, lungs, and a shaky brain bleed. Yesterday the doctor said she is in multiple organ failure and has fluid in her lungs and pneumonia. So this morning they took her to have a procedure to put something in her body to keep the clots from entering her heart.
Makes no sense to me to do this to an 85 year old woman who just wants to die with out all of this mess. The palliative care nurse came in and said she was clear in the head, which she is most definitely not as she has been taking Oxycontin, Fentanyl patches and more. Who in their right mind prescribes those to an woman of her age living alone??? And why? There was absolutely nothing wrong with her but a bruised rib from 5 years ago.
It’s a frustrating situation made worse by the fact that I can not go there. So that is where I am. Even talking on the phone to the nurse was frustrating. But hopefully today we will know something.
I am very conflicted about the entire thing. How is one supposed to feel when the person who has physically abused her daughters until we left home and then just used emotional and verbal abuse? As for me, when they told me she was dying, I couldn’t even cry. I just felt hope. That soon I’ll be free. Heck, my sister MJ, just got on a plane and went to Curacao. She is not conflicted. She is fed up.
I hope no one is thinking I want her dead. I don’t. I just want her to go away and let us be calm for a few years.
Anyone else have this conflict?
Let me know, I’m stuck at home still so give me your best advice.
xx P
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