Pour yourself a cup and let’s chat! Today I’m thinking of forgiveness. Something easier said than done. If you really have forgiven someone you also should have let that go.
Not being a saint my own self I can hardly pass judgement on other people’s behavior. A long time ago I was in confession with Monsignor. I had a notebook with a full-page and he just looked at me and laughed. ” Why don’t you tell me what you feel guilty about instead of holding up the line for 2 hours.” So I told him the one thing I felt guilty about was the fact that I was unable to have a relationship with my Mother. That even though I had forgiven her and let it go, I knew I absolutely could not be around her.
His response helped me a great deal. “You can forgive someone and love them but for your own self-preservation you can love them from afar”. So that is what I have done and continue to do. If you hurt me, I’ll forgive you. But I’ll love you from a few states over. Or I may not love you at all. I can say I’ll never trust you again. And I will not.
I compare it to sugar. I love sugar. But it doesn’t love me. It makes me violently ill. So I avoid it like the plague. But I still love it. It just doesn’t fit in my life. I forgive you sugar for tempting me but I’m keeping you out of my house. And I will not forget how sick you made me. Because remembering the pain is what keeps the pain from coming back.
So yeah, I’m all for forgiveness. Forget? That’s another thing altogether.