It is Friday. And Lord knows I’m trying to keep calm, but yesterday was one of those days when I just wanted to mute the entire world.
Whether it was listening to the carpenter next door installing new cabinets, the man in the driveway honking the horn for his kid or listening to the orange man spew nonsense, I had reached the end of my patience.
I admit I love to argue. I love nothing more than a good debate. And yesterday was one of those days when my poor husband almost took to wearing a disguise.
First I commented on someones post about a friend coming out in public. A supportive comment. Then this happened:
Idiot: Oh, so you believe in lesbianism?
Me: Uh What?
Idiot: God made an Adam and an Eve. Did you ever ask yourself why he didn’t create two Adams?
Me: Uh Noooooo….no I did not. *uses Block Button*
Later in the afternoon said patient husband reminded me we had no food in the house that wasn’t liquid and we needed to go shopping. Just go ahead and picture the worst 2-year-old tantrum ever and that was me. The entire time I complained it was cold while he was saying things like “This is way cheaper at the other market” which I took to mean we were going to multiple markets, and immediately began to whine again. So I made him stop at the library where I proceeded to check out 20 books from the children’s department.
Even though it wasn’t a Yoga day, I figured I had better do something before he tossed a Xanax in my mouth. I even got pissy with the yoga lady. I mean she doesn’t even sweat. Ever. Or fart. Who never farts in yoga?? Well it didn’t work so the husband tossed the Xanax and I became a kinder, gentler human until Big Brother came on.
The events of the past couple of weeks have had my anxiety at that level where you feel like you’re holding a live electrical cable. And I realize that it’s going to take a few days to come down from living at that extreme. So I picked up #TheBlogess’s book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened so I could laugh and not feel alone in my craziness!
Now I’m going to go lounge in a bubble bath and pretend I’m in Bali with a Saudi Prince.